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    October 30, 2003

    There were signs.
    Great big signs that flashed neon orange and blinked a hundred times.
    You acknowledged them.
    (You were always good at reading signs.)
    But the road you're on is safer and there is no denying it's familiarity.

    October 29, 2003

    "Shy away, shy away phantom.
    Run away, terrified child.
    Won't you...
    Move away, you fucking tornado.
    I'm better off without you tearing my world down."


    More APC for your reading (dis)pleasure.

    ..and once again, the worlds collapsed.


    "One day," he thought, "I will find my home, and she will love me everlasting, and it will be good. And she will be true."

    October 27, 2003

    I've been going through a lot recently. Worlds collapsing, building back up just to fall back down again.
    But there's a light at the end of this tunnel. Well, one of them, at least.

    Starting Monday, I have a new job working at Aetna. No more retail for me!!
    Finally, I can get back to going in to an office, taking care of what I need to, and going home. My-oh-my does that sound wonderful. The pay is good, the job is taking calls and inputting data... there's really only one thing I could complain about. It's in Blue Bell. A little bit of a hike and so I'm a little worried about getting there on time but I'm more concerned with the travel time back home. Still, it's better than getting home at 9pm every night. I see good things ahead of me.

    I wish I had more to say but this is neither the time nor place. Take care of yourselves and I'll be updating again soon.

    So I'll leave you with this little reminder:
    It's not until you've lost everything that you're free to do anything.
    (Anything you want.)

    October 23, 2003

    cry. cry. cry me a river and set sail
    telling me the secrets of your world
    take. take. take me down your hallways
    opening every door as we go by
    show me. show me your inhibitions
    never question your own misery

    tell me words of love
    erase them with your tongue
    help me stay a little while
    i can't go back to where i'm coming from

    drink. drink. drink it all up and die
    give me the fevers of your breath
    let me swallow it down as i
    cry myself to sleep

    watch your feet, my love
    you're stepping on my heart
    puncure me with a rose bush
    sucking my fucking blood

    tell me words of love
    erase them with your tongue
    help me stay a little while
    i can't go back to where i'm coming from

    guide yourself and your soul stays pure
    i cannot be anything without you

    October 19, 2003





    rrr








    October 15, 2003

    Sometimes, I stop and think before I talk about things on here. Sometimes I say things that no one understands. Sometimes I write in white. Sometimes, in grey. Always... in grey.

    October 13, 2003

    "...and I listen for the whisper
    of your sweet insanity
    while I formulate denials
    of your affect on me.

    You're a stranger
    so what do I care?
    You vanish today
    not the first time I hear
    all the lies.

    What am I to do with all this silence?"



    I'm going to start off every blog with another line or verse from Thirteenth Step until you all can't take it anymore and have to buy it. Yesss.............. mwa ha haaaaa!

    Eeehh... I'm not quite sure what to say at the moment, though. So I'll just give you some major entertainment by having you click here.

    October 12, 2003

    "Disconnect and self-destruct
    one bullet at a time.
    What's your hurry?
    Everyone will have their day to die.

    If you choose to pull the trigger,
    should your drama prove sincere --
    do it somewhere far away from here."


    I'm browsing through this person's blog and finding that so many thoughts and opinions parallel mine to a frightening degree. When I read through my old archives and don't recall those events, I read them like I'm reading a stranger's memories only with a great ability to relate to every word being said.
    When I read this person's blog, I have that same relationship with the words. Weird. I suppose there's something to be said for astrology. (I, too, am a capricorn.)

    October 6, 2003

    I sat down at this computer today at about 9:30am. I began to organize all the files throughout all 3 of my hard drives. This is something I've been wanting to do for quite a LONG time, now. That took me about 5 or 6 hours. Then I began to go through all of The Carpeted Wall -- because I can, now -- and updated the whole thing. I didn't change the look at all, but I got a lot of the content up to date. So, I did a lot of good, productive Coz-things today. Here's my pitch:

    For those interested: The Carpeted Wall, my portfolio site, has finally FINALLY been updated. Check it out and hire me for something! The guestbook, although now paid for and ready to accept signatures.... is apparently out-of-order as of this moment. (figures...)


    Here's something to distract you:

    Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe and the biran fguiers it out aynawy.

    October 5, 2003

    I got together with my old friend Phil who I haven't seen in almost 5 years tonight. He was a friend of a friend who I met and we always seemed to have a mutual appreciation of each other -- musically more than anything else. He is a drummer. A very good drummer at that. We used to hang out at Denny's all the time so where better to reunite?
    We ate and catched up on each other's lives but it wasn't until we got talking about music where the juices started flowing just like they used to years ago. We could talk for hours about music -- in fact... we did tonight. Actually, we listened.
    He wanted to hear my album so we went to the parking lot and listened to every song. He brought along some songs he's been working on, after learning some guitar and recording it using computer programs and a drum machine. We just sat there for the entire time -- a little over an hour.

    I wanted to play him some of the new A Perfect Circle album because even though he was going to buy it at some point, I had to fuel the fire by letting him hear the beauty that lies within the plastic jewel case. But I only got 20 seconds into the first song when the Denny's Rent-A-Cop came and pointed to my car saying something to ...something.. behind us. *turn around* Cop? Oh jeez... they're gonna kick us out of the parking lot....
    "THERE. IT'S THE PASSENGER WHO'S SMOKING THE WEED."

    Woah, woah, woah..... what? "No dude," Phil says as he grabs his pouch of Drum tobacco, "this is tobacco!"
    The cop asks us out of the car and to see our ID's. We obey, laughing all the way.
    The rent-a-cop has already disappeared back into the restaurant, probably out of embarrassment.
    They check out our ID's, hand them back to us and tell us how "that guy's a jack-ass" and we're OK where we are but we should move just so they don't have to get called out there again. So we park across the street in Home Depot's lot -- where, a half hour later were kicked out by a regular man in a van. Maybe an employee? I don't know... but we found it all very humorous. In all honesty, I am amused at the events that took place tonight and have taken place many times in the past. I'm amused at what we've become. There is no place to go and park and listen to music. There is no park to go to at night to chat with a friend. Matter of fact, you can't even go to a park and be by yourself. There is literally no place outdoors to sit with yourself or a friend or two and talk, listen to music, relax, etc. There just simply is no place to go without being kicked out by someone. Hence: Canada.

    Anyway, I'm hopeful Phil is who I've been looking for these past few years to pull me back into the music scene. We're going to make an honest effort into making something happen. He gave me the rough draft songs he's recorded, less vocals, and invites me to see what I can do for lyrics and vocals. I hope I can actually do what I've been wanting for years to have the chance at doing. I guess we'll see.

    Here's to something new....


    ===========================
    do not click here

    October 3, 2003

    You silly girls should really learn more about your periods and what to do when you get them.

     

     

     

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    Hello. I used to have a blog, here, for 6 years up until 2006 when I needed to walk away from it all for a bit. After some time alone and the discovery of Twitter, I've decided to put cozbaldwin.com back into business. Twitter allows me to make brief updates at any time from anywhere. They are the blogs between the blogs. This is especially helpful since I rarely have the motivation to write out entire blogs anymore.


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